15 Easy Ways to Tell a Guy Has Never Had a Girlfriend
8 years ago
Whether you’re asking pretty standard “get to know you” questions on a first date or visiting his place for the very first time, here are some helpful tips that reveal if your new guy has never had a serious girlfriend before.
1. None of his furniture seats more than one person.
Most single guys don’t have the greatest furniture collections (really, who in their 20s does?), but if his living room setup includes a video game chair, a recliner, a papasan, and the odd camping chair or folding chair, then he’s obviously never needed to share his TV-viewing space with another person. He probably didn’t realize that he needed a loveseat until he met someone he wanted to snuggle up and watch a movie with.
2. He brags that he can shoot pool both right- and left-handed.
If he’s had the time, energy, and dedication to make himself ambidextrous and to study the physics and geometry involved in shooting pool, then odds are, he wasn’t devoted much time, energy, or dedication to a girl. On the plus side, if he was willing to spend the time to make himself ambidextrous, think of how dedicated he’ll be in bed.
3. He’s not on Facebook.
We all know that our time spent on Facebook is 49% looking at pictures of cute baby animals and 51% stalking our exes. No exes to stalk = no need for Facebook.
4. He mentions on the first date that he was a mathlete/spell bowl captain/hall monitor in high school.
Not to be stereotypical, but really, how many high school geography bee champions have YOU slept with? Those guys didn’t get laid then, and they’re probably still struggling to catch up.
5. He doesn’t know what a Cosmopolitan or a Lemon Drop is.
Fact: girls drink girly drinks. If he has no idea what any of the girliest of girly drinks are, then he probably hasn’t spent much time in the company of girls and drinks. Unless he’s in AA, of course.
6. He orders the spiciest, stinkiest, most fibrous item on the menu.
Black bean burrito with garlic and onion? The curry so hot even the waiter winces? Clearly, he hasn’t considered the consequences of his actions if he orders food that comes to a glass of milk and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. He might have great taste in curries, but ordering that risky of a food on an early date shows that he isn’t in the habit of considering how his food choices might affect people within a 50-foot radius.
7. There’s no wine in his kitchen.
Fact: a glass of wine is a standard offer after a date. Not rum, not a can of cheap beer, not a shot of tequila, but a glass of wine. Anyone who plans to entertain females knows to have a bottle of wine on hand. No wine, no women.
8. He has lots of female friends—but they’re all online.
It’s always great to find a guy who can sustain friendships with girls. But if all of his female friends live in his computer and in another state or country, that’s a sign he probably doesn’t deal well with girls in real life. Sure, he can talk to them online for hours while playing World of Warcraft or Magic: The Gathering, but he doesn’t have much experience asking a girl about her day, her family, or what kind of ice cream she likes. Those topics don’t usually come up when you’re fighting other planeswalkers.
9. He doesn’t have a nightstand.
Sure, the nightstand is a great place for an alarm clock, a lamp, your glasses, and a book, but we all know that the official function of a nightstand is a storage unit for condoms, lube, and any other item you’d like to have at the ready during sex. Really, who wants to stop having sex long enough to go searching through their sock drawer (or worse yet, medicine cabinet) for condoms? A guy without a nightstand has never had sex regularly enough to know its true function.
10. He’s never heard ofSex and the City,Mean Girls,Clueless, orProject Runway.
Most boyfriends refuse to watch these shows and movies on principle, but that doesn’t mean they haven’t heard their girlfriends long for Carrie’s shoe collection or gripe that Gretchen beat out Mondo in Season 8. But any guy who has never heard the phrase “make it work” or “that so fetches” has very obviously not spent much time with females.
11. He literally doesn’t know how to cook anything.
Even the grossest of bachelors who live on frozen pizza and waffles usually know how to cook at least one decent thing. Most guys know that one good way to get a girl into your apartment is to offer to cook for her, and you have to know how to make at least one passable thing in order to make that happen.
12. He literally knows how to cook everything.
On the flip side, if he’s cooked his way through Julia Child’sMastering the Art of French Cookingand can tell you the difference between julienning and chiffonading, then he’s clearly spent years of his life on the ins and outs of these recipes. If he has two or three hours to prepare meals all the time, he’s probably not in any rush to get anywhere after he finishes dinner. Say, like sex.
13. None of his hobbies involve much interaction with women.
Hobbies are great. Most of us took up a hobby in the first place so that we could meet people to date. But if his hobbies are almost entirely male-dominated (think motorsports, fishing, and astronomy), he probably didn’t get into them to meet girls and he probably hasn’t met too many girls doing them.
14. There’s a single roll of toilet paper in his bathroom, and it only has three squares left.
Chicks pee. A lot. Most people who spend time around girls know that. If he’d girls over at his place with any regularity, he’d know how much they pee and have more than a scrap of toilet paper at the ready.
15. He still wears tighty-whities.
Eek. No woman wants to sleep with a guy whose underwear looks like his mom bought it for him, and he would know that information if he’d ever slept with a woman.
If you feel there are other clear “signs” that point to this conclusion, start a conversation with a “Share!”