The good folks from List25 are back once again providing us with a list of common things us men seem to get wrong when it comes to women. Don’t take it too seriously, and be sure to browse around their website for some wonderful entertainment.
It is something. It is definitely something and you had better figure it out real quick.
Do I look fat in this?
A better translation would be “Do you think I’m ugly?” and the answer is categorically “no”.
Do not misconstrue this as permission. In fact, it’s more of a dare. Actually, its always a dare. Don’t do it.
It means “no”.
In most cases this also means no. There are exceptions but they are very hard to distinguish.
It would be nice if…
Everything following the “if” is meant to be interpreted as an unconditional order.
This means the argument is over and you lost.
It’s never okay. This only means that she needs some time to figure out your punishment.
Are you listening?
You are not listening. There is no way to recover from this.
It’s up to you
If you think this means you have freedom to choose then you are very, very mistaken. A much better translation would be “It’s up to you…to select the right choice which I know but I am not going to tell you because you should know.” Making the wrong choice will usually result in an “It’s okay (see #17).
You might not think so, but this is actually a word and it can roughly be translated as “I can’t believe I have to stand here and put up with your stupidity”.
This depends on context. If she is getting dressed then it is most likely somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes. If you are watching TV then it is closer to 0 minutes. As in “why are you watching TV right now when you should be doing something productive?”