12 Things Men Do Differently Than Women


-If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

-If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.

-When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

-When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

-A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

-A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but is on sale.

-A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, shampoo, soap and a towel.

-The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

-A woman has the last word in any argument.

-Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

-A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

-A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.



-A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

-A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

-A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

-A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

-A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

-A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

-Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

-Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

-A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

-A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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